Bob Schwartz

The mad frenzy to rename waters around the U.S. continues. An attempt was made to start calling the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America. Now Lake Ontario has been “renamed” Lake America. Soon maybe the Great Lakes will be called the Great American Lakes. (I know, don’t give anyone ideas.)

The oceans on both sides of the U.S. may be next. But there is a problem. The obvious initiative is to call each ocean the Ocean of America. But that would obviously be confusing, like having two streets with the same name.

The simple solution: Name one the Ocean of America and name the other the Other Ocean of America. In the image above, I have put Ocean of America on the Pacific, but there is no reason it can’t be the other way around.

Speaking of naming, I want to include a musical moment. Not quite Shakespeare (“A rose by any other name’) but a good point:

You call it rain
but the human name
doesn’t mean shit to a tree
—Eskimo Blue Day, Jefferson Airplane

© 2026 Bob Schwartz