Bob Schwartz

Tag: condom

Joke Break: Duck Walks into a Drugstore…

Duck Drug Store
We need a break. So here’s one in a continuing series of jokes from the joke file, a well-traveled manila folder containing about three pounds of clippings and copies from all kinds of sources.

This doesn’t mean that there aren’t stupid, tragic and completely unnecessary things going on in this country and the world. That’s exactly what’s going on—but we still have to live. And laugh.

Great jokes don’t have to offend sensibilities, but they sometimes do. So a blanket apology in advance if you are put off or offended—or if you don’t find a particular joke very funny.


Duck walks into a drugstore, asks for some Chap Stick. Guy behind the counter says, “That’ll be fifty-nine cents.” Duck says, “Put it on my bill.”

Next day, the duck walks into the drugstore, asks for a package of condoms. Guy behind the counter says, “Would you like me to put that on your bill?” Duck says, “Hey, what kind of a duck do you think I am!”

Going Naked On Your Smartphone

It is a continuing discussion among thousands of people in the smartphone world: Use a screen protector or “go naked”?

What is so glaringly notable about the debate is how much it echoes the same discussion about sex: Use a condom or go naked?

It is about sensation and response. The thicker and less sophisticated screen protectors seem to reduce the touch and responsiveness of the device.

It is about size. Many people find that screen protectors they purchase don’t fit their device, even when the manufacturers claim they do. Trimming and adjustment are often required.

It is about aesthetics. Even the thinnest and most expensive screen protectors seem to take away from the inherent beauty that has been designed into the device.

It is about messiness. One of the biggest complaints about screen protectors, even among those who choose to use them, is that they are a mess, tending to slip off and be constantly in need of readjustment.

It is about unwanted and unexpected outcomes. No matter how careful you are, screens can get scratched. Once that happens, the experience with and the relationship to the device are never the same again.

That last is a risk many seem willing to take. Maybe they can’t be blamed, because the feel of a gliding fingertip on Gorilla Glass instead of plastic, and the instant, electric response you get is like nothing else. If there’s a price to pay for going screen naked, to a lot of people it’s worth it.