“If penguins don’t let go of their young at some point, the little ones will never grow up to be competent adult penguins.”
“Attachment may be the most difficult emotion to overcome, but we can make progress by continually observing how it brings us suffering and does us no good. In place of our attachment, we can cultivate a less self-centered love, a visionary love that is tuned in with the actual best interests of others. This kind of love often involves letting go. For instance, if penguins don’t let go of their young at some point, the little ones will never grow up to be competent adult penguins. They will never be free to live fully. By letting go, the parents are not rejecting love and care, but expressing a higher form of love. As lojong [mind training] practitioners, we can cultivate visionary love for those close to us, and then spread that love among all sentient beings, simply because they have the same desire to be happy that we do.” Dzigar Kongtrul, The Intelligent Heart: A Guide to the Compassionate Life
One of the most famous quotes about judging is from the Gospels:
Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. Matthew 7:1
Despite that wisdom, Christians and others often tend to forget or ignore it. A lot of judging goes on.
Another similar perspective is taken in Buddhism, which is not to say that Buddhists don’t indulge in judging also.
A maxim from the classic 59 maxims of mind-training (lojong):
Don’t reflect on others’ shortcomings.
We should train our minds to see others as pure by thinking that when we see a fault in someone, it’s because we project imaginary faults onto others due to things appearing to be impure from our own side. Practicing in this way, we will be able to protect ourselves from the tendency to judge others. Gomo Tulku (1922-1985), Seven Steps to Train Your Mind
This goes farther than the Christian message that we shouldn’t judge others because we might get judged back. We don’t judge because whatever the other is doing, we are looking in a mirror. We are pure, though our self-importance keeps us from knowing it. The other is pure, but is also kept from knowing it. Our role is not to judge, but to help them see it and help ourselves see it.
Note that no one suggests that we put our critical thinking in neutral. If we find that what we or others do, say or think might be better, we can point it out, provided our motivation is making things better, and not proving ourselves better and smarter.
“Whatever you want, others all want as much; so act accordingly!” Patrul Rinpoche (1808–1887)
The Kadampa teachings say that if we use our activities to open ourselves to the world with loving-kindness, patience, and understanding, we’ll bring the lojong spirit into everything we do. While our practices may be diverse, if our bodhichitta* attitude is natural and self-correcting, we’ll be doing everything with one intention. Patrul Rinpoche relates the following story to illustrate this:
When Trungpa Sinachen asked him for a complete instruction in a single sentence, Phadampa Sangye replied, “Whatever you want, others all want as much; so act accordingly!” (Patrul Rinpoche, Words of My Perfect Teacher)
Traleg Kyagbon, The Practice of Lojong
*Bodhichitta. There are two aspects to enlightened heart: an ultimate and a relative one. Ultimate enlightened heart refers to the nature of the mind and relative enlightened heart refers to the cultivation and generation of compassion.
This sounds familiar, like a version of the Golden Rule, which instructs us not to do to others what we would not have done to us. A difference is that this goes beyond what we and they do. It is about what is in our and their mind, what you and they want. Which, surprisingly or not, is elementally the same. What we do or don’t do follows from what we think. So this might be considered the precursor or foundation of the Golden Rule.
Our theistic religions promote humility, mostly in relation to a supreme God. Before God all are inferior. That is humbling.
What if we are inferior to everyone else, not just God?
Whenever I am in the company of others, May I regard myself as inferior to all And from the depths of my heart Cherish others as supreme. Geshe Langri Thangpa (1054–1123), Eight Verses for Training the Mind
This does not fit easily into our lives. If we look around our congregations, we may struggle, thinking, “Am I really inferior to him or her? I don’t think so.” And then if we look around at others in our community or the world, the comparison is even harder.
Regarding our inferiority, as hard as it is on our self-importance, is an essential step to humility and compassion. You can make a list of the ways that you are evidently and certifiably superior to others. But to what purpose?
We should think of ourselves as the lowest of all beings. This is not an attitude of low self-esteem. In fact, it is the opposite. If we put ourselves in the lowest, humblest seat, we remove any chance of feeling insecure. From the lowest seat, there is no place to fall down. Such humility naturally comes with a sense of nobility, which enables us to focus on other beings and bring them great benefit. Dzigar Kongtrul, The Intelligent Heart
As you read this message from Chogyam Trungpa, from his book Training the Mind and Cultivating Loving-Kindness, you will find his unique way of talking about practice and wisdom in relatable conversational ways.
This is about a concept that is hard for even the best teachers to put in a short and easy form. Hard because, on top of its complexity, it refers to an aspirational experience and not just a concept. So this very brief excerpt can’t possibly do it justice.
But his description of how we think about our thoughts is worth passing on, even if the antidote is treated by Trungpa and others at greater length and with more clarity. I recognize myself and maybe you will too.
Seeing confusion as the four kayas Is unsurpassable shunyata protection.
As you continue to practice mindfulness and awareness, the seeming confusion and chaos in your mind begin to seem absurd. You begin to realize that your thoughts have no real birthplace, no origin, they just pop up as dharmakaya*. They are unborn. And your thoughts don’t go anywhere, they are unceasing. Therefore, your mind is seen as sambhogakaya. And furthermore, no activities are really happening in your mind, so the notion that your mind can dwell on anything also begins to seem absurd, because there is nothing to dwell on. Therefore, your mind is seen as nirmanakaya. Putting the whole thing together, there is no birth, no cessation, and no acting or dwelling at all—therefore, your mind is seen as svabhavikakaya. The point is not to make your mind a blank. It is just that as a result of supermindfulness and superawareness, you begin to see that nothing is actually happening—although at the same time you think that lots of things are happening.
Realizing that the confusion and the chaos in your mind have no origin, no cessation, and nowhere to dwell is the best protection. Shunyata** is the best protection because it cuts the solidity of your beliefs. “I have my solid thought” or “This is my grand thought” or “My thought is so cute” or “In my thoughts I visualize a grand whatever” or “The star men came down and talked to me” or “Genghis Khan is present in my mind” or “Jesus Christ himself manifested in my mind” or “I have thought of a tremendous scheme a for how to build a city, or how to write a tremendous musical comedy, or how to conquer the world”—it could be anything, from that level down to: “How am I going to earn my living after this?” or “What is the best way for me to sharpen my personality so that I will be visible in the world?” or “How I hate my problems!” All of those schemes and thoughts and ideas are empty! If you look behind their backs, it is like looking at a mask. If you look behind a mask, you see that it is hollow. There may be a few holes for the nostrils and the mouth—but if you look behind it, it doesn’t look like a face anymore, it is just junk with holes in it. Realizing that is your best protection. You realize that you are no longer the greatest artist at all, that you are not any of your big ideas. You realize that you are just authoring absurd, nonexistent things. That is the best protection for cutting confusion.
Chogyam Trungpa
*kaya: Literally, “body.” The four kayas refer in this text to four aspects of perception. Dharmakaya is the sense of openness; nirmanakaya is clarity; sambhogakaya is the link or relationship between those two; and svabhavikakaya is the total experience of the whole thing.
**shunyata: “Emptiness,” “openness.” A completely open and unbounded clarity of mind.
Like other religions, Buddhism describes a time of degeneration. The farther we are removed from original teachings—in Buddhism from the time of the Buddha—the worse the circumstances. Different religions deal with such worsening times with different scenarios for recovery, some of them dramatic and apocalyptic.
In Buddhism there is a less dramatic and more personal scheme for this period of degeneration. If all is a matter of mind, then training and taming the mind is the way.
Following is commentary on the conclusion of the Seven Points of Mind Training. It details the five kinds of degeneration and repeats the benefits of adversity: “The trainings are like fire, and adverse conditions are like firewood.”
The Excellent Conclusion
“This quintessential elixir of heart advice, which transforms the five kinds of rampant degeneration into the path of enlightenment, is a transmission from Serlingpa.”
In today’s world we need the elixir of mind training. We’re living in what’s referred to in dharma teachings as “a period of degeneration,” an era when sentient beings experience great adversity. There are five different kinds of degeneration, and each one affects our quality of life.
The degeneration of life span refers to the many beings whose lives are cut short because of violence and poor living conditions.
The degeneration of afflictive mental states refers to an increase in negative thoughts and emotions.
The degeneration of the quality of beings refers to the selfish inclination of beings and their willingness to harm others, as well as society’s devaluing of positive qualities such as honesty, consideration, and kindness.
The degeneration of views refers to the radical views that dominate people’s minds, which are not in harmony with the way things are.
The degeneration of time period refers to environmental pollution, natural disasters, and the rampant deterioration of the world, which greatly reduce the quality of life for all of the planet’s inhabitants.
But there’s good news. These degenerating times provide unlimited opportunities for us to apply the methods of mind training. In fact, the more adversity, the more mind training. The trainings are like fire, and adverse conditions are like firewood. The more firewood you pile on, the stronger the fire burns. That’s why this is the perfect teaching for right now. As adversity fuels our practice, we become better practitioners and better people.
There are many profound and effective methods for taming the mind within the dharma, but some of them take a long time to cultivate. The methods of mind training explained in this book, however, can bring immediate results when applied properly. They can be used by any practitioner to transform adverse conditions into the path of awakening. Whether you are old or young, experienced or inexperienced, have a highly evolved practice or are just beginning, it makes no difference. These methods work.
As the following traditional verse makes clear, an intelligent form of patience is required if we’re to avoid being hurt and destabilized by the vicissitudes of life:
Even if you are prosperous like the gods, Pray do not be conceited. Even if you become as destitute as a hungry ghost, Pray do not be disheartened. Nāgārjuna, Precious Garland
Life’s trials often reduce us to damaged, bruised, and battered emotional wrecks. If we can bring a modicum of intelligence to our patience, we won’t become so exhilarated by our highs or self-defeated by our lows, as if we were suffering from bipolar disorder. Whichever of the two occurs, we’ll be able to maintain a sense of stability and groundedness. Patience is not a form of passivity, where we have no power over what life might throw at us. Even when life’s trials are unpleasant or upsetting, patience allows us to face them in a creative and beneficial way, with courage and dignity.
If things always went our way, we wouldn’t be able to develop high ideals and live a meaningful life. Instead of responding to difficulty the way we normally do, with frustration or impotent rage, we learn to approach life’s contingencies with patience and intelligence. The skillful exercise of patience will make us less flaky and predictable, and we’ll be able to utilize situations to our advantage.
“We can’t tailor the world to suit ourselves, or force it to fit into our vision of things. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t aspire to make things better.” Traleg Kyabgon Rinpoche
Point Three: Transforming Adversity into the Path of Awakening
We now come to the instructions on how to train our minds amid the unfavorable and unwanted circumstances of our lives. We have been born into an imperfect world, characterized by unpredictability and adversity, as finite human beings that have foibles, make mistakes, get confused, and think irrationally. There is much to contend with, and our ability to prevent or circumvent difficulty is quite limited. We aren’t omnipotent beings, and while we try to protect ourselves and maintain order in our lives, we simply don’t have the ability to safeguard ourselves from its disasters….
We can’t tailor the world to suit ourselves, or force it to fit into our vision of things. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t aspire to make things better. The bodhisattva ideal specifically recommends trying to improve our world to the best of our ability, but that ideal is based on a realistic recognition that the world is imperfect and likely to remain that way. Things may sometimes work a little better, sometimes a little worse, but so long as there is ignorance, hatred, jealousy, pride, and selfishness, we will all be living in a world that is socially and politically imperfect….
Sometimes things just happen, and there may be nothing we can do to change that, but we can control our responses to events. We don’t have to despair in the face of disaster. We can either continue to respond in the way we’ve always done and get progressively worse, or we can turn things around and use our misfortune to aid our spiritual growth. For example, if we suffer from illness, we should not allow despondency to get the better of us if our recovery is slow. Despite seeing the best doctors and receiving the best medication, we should accept our situation with courage and fortitude and use it to train our minds to be more accommodating and understanding. No matter what situation we encounter, we can strengthen our minds by incorporating it into our spiritual journey.
“We can’t tailor the world to suit ourselves, or force it to fit into our vision of things. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t aspire to make things better.” Traleg Kyabgon
The 59 slogans of lojong mind training are divided into Seven Points.
Point Three: Transforming Adversity into the Path of Awakening
We now come to the instructions on how to train our minds amid the unfavorable and unwanted circumstances of our lives. We have been born into an imperfect world, characterized by unpredictability and adversity, as finite human beings that have foibles, make mistakes, get confused, and think irrationally. There is much to contend with, and our ability to prevent or circumvent difficulty is quite limited. We aren’t omnipotent beings, and while we try to protect ourselves and maintain order in our lives, we simply don’t have the ability to safeguard ourselves from its disasters.
It is self-evident that the natural world doesn’t behave in a predictable way or do our bidding. We can see this in the recent examples of the Indian Ocean tsunami and the hurricane that decimated New Orleans. Natural disasters have occurred repeatedly in the past and are likely to continue to do so in the future. Millions of people have lost their lives, are losing their lives, and will lose their lives to disease: the typhoid, cholera, dysentery, and bubonic plagues of the past; the HIV epidemic of the present; and so on. Even at a personal level, many things go awry, and our efforts to complete projects are constantly thwarted and disrupted by sickness, mental distress, and all kinds of deception and mistreatment by others.
Adverse circumstances and situations are an integral part of conditioned existence. They tend to arise as sudden interruptions, so we shouldn’t be surprised that natural calamities and upheavals occur in both our private and our public lives. Buddhists do not believe in divine authorship or omnipotent governance of any kind; things just happen when the proper conditions and circumstances come together….
We can’t tailor the world to suit ourselves, or force it to fit into our vision of things. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t aspire to make things better. The bodhisattva ideal specifically recommends trying to improve our world to the best of our ability, but that ideal is based on a realistic recognition that the world is imperfect and likely to remain that way. Things may sometimes work a little better, sometimes a little worse, but so long as there is ignorance, hatred, jealousy, pride, and selfishness, we will all be living in a world that is socially and politically imperfect….
If things are interdependent, as Buddhists say, we can never expect to protect ourselves against unexpected occurrences, because there is no real order to existence apart from the regularity of certain natural processes. The fact that anything and everything can and does happen would then come as no real surprise to us. The question then becomes not so much why these things happen, but what we can do about them once they do. We cannot control the environment in any strict sense, so we must try to change our attitude and see things in a different light. Only then will we be able to take full advantage of our situation, even if it happens to be a bad one. While it often seems there is nothing we can do in the face of insurmountable obstacles, the lojong teachings tell us this is not true. The imperfect world can be an opportunity for awakening rather than an obstacle to our goals.
Sometimes things just happen, and there may be nothing we can do to change that, but we can control our responses to events. We don’t have to despair in the face of disaster. We can either continue to respond in the way we’ve always done and get progressively worse, or we can turn things around and use our misfortune to aid our spiritual growth. For example, if we suffer from illness, we should not allow despondency to get the better of us if our recovery is slow. Despite seeing the best doctors and receiving the best medication, we should accept our situation with courage and fortitude and use it to train our minds to be more accommodating and understanding. No matter what situation we encounter, we can strengthen our minds by incorporating it into our spiritual journey….
We grow more quickly if we are open to working with difficulties rather than constantly running away from them. The lojong teachings say that when we harden ourselves to suffering, we only become more susceptible to it. The more harsh or cruel we are toward others, the more vulnerable we become to irritation or anger that is directed at us. Contrary to our instincts, it is by learning to become more open to others and our world that we grow stronger and more resilient. It is our own choice how we respond to others. We can capitulate to the entrenched habits and inner compulsions deeply ingrained in our basic consciousness, or we can recognize the limitations of our situation and apply a considered approach. Our conditioned samsaric minds will always compel us to focus on what we can’t control rather than questioning whether we should respond at all. However, once we recognize the mechanical way in which our ego always reacts, it becomes possible to reverse that process.
The great strength of the lojong teachings is the idea that we can train our minds to turn these unfavorable circumstances around and make them work to our advantage. The main criterion is that we never give up in the face of adversity, no matter what kind of world we are confronted with at the personal or political level. When we think there is nothing we can do, we realize there is something we can do, and we see that this “something” is actually quite tremendous.
The year 2024 presented challenges. The new year will too.
Some of the challenges were and will be individual and personal, some shared and public.
In the past year, I thought more and more about compassion. For a while I bemoaned what I perceived to be a lack of compassion on the part of other people, lots of other people. But late in the year, I began to see that cultivating compassion could only begin with me. Fortunately, I discovered a thousand-year-old Buddhist practice known as lojong, aimed at doing just that.
One of the many points of the practice concerns how to deal with adversity, including enemies. Many are familiar with the suggestion of Jesus to “love your enemies.” This goes one stop further, with the suggestion “Be grateful to everyone.” Everyone, including those who do harm.
“Be grateful to everyone.”
This is a very profound statement. One of our primary tasks in this training is to get rid of anger and hatred. If we disperse these emotions, a great deal of suffering will vanish along with them. When we feel grateful, it breaks down anger and we cannot continue to feel hate. That is why this slogan is so effective. It is not difficult to be relaxed and forgiving when conditions are harmonious. However when things go wrong and we feel abused or under stress, we tend to be hostile. Dwelling on our hurt stirs up our aversion and the whole experience becomes totally negative. This can be avoided if we remember the positive potential in the situation.
The adversities that other people bring us are gifts, not betrayals. Disappointments try our patience and compassion. If our lives are completely sheltered and blessed, we have no friction to use as raw material in our practice. We will never conquer our ego if we are spared from every single upset and provocation. Atisha was known to travel with an attendant who was terribly bad-tempered. The man was irritable and very rude to everyone. People could not understand why a kind and wise teacher like Atisha permitted this nasty man to accompany him on his travels and they asked him how he put up with it. Atisha answered that the man was his “patience tester” and very precious to him.
Our efforts to generate compassion are always in connection with other people and our progress depends on these relationships. The people we live and work with and who share our lives are the sentient beings for whom we seek enlightenment. They are also the means of acquiring wisdom and patience on the way to enlightenment. Rather than feeling insulted or victimized by those who have been unkind to us, we bear the discomfort and feel thankful towards it.
Suffering so often comes from not being able to find the good in things and being critical. If we can be positive about whatever comes, we cling less to the world and are less wounded by bad experiences.
Aside from whatever personal situations arise, it is certain that in 2025 many people will be affected, frustrated, angry or outraged by developments in public life. It will be difficult to treat the people responsible for those policies with kindness or gratitude.
In the case of those who suffer because of those policies, we can do what we can to help relieve that suffering.
In the case of those who cause that suffering, being grateful to them is the last thing on our minds. But when we treat it as an opportunity to develop our wisdom and patience, that is something to be thankful for.
Bob Schwartz 