Bob Schwartz

Another Joke Break: Snail on the Front Porch


The half-life of a blog post is about a day. Within a week, nobody is reading. Within a year, it might as well never have been published.

Which is what makes my post Joke Break: Duck Walks into a Drugstore so amazing to me. Not a day passes when somebody doesn’t read that post—which was published three years ago.

It is a great joke, and I am so happy that so many people are getting a much-needed laugh, especially these days. But it makes me feel like maybe I can dip into my well of classic jokes and find just one more that would have legs (web feet?) like that. (If you’re wondering what a Jokes folder looks like, see the photo above.)


Guy finds a snail on his front porch. He picks it up and throws it across the street. One year later, he hears a knock at his door. The man goes to the door, opens the door, looks down, and there he sees the same snail on his front porch. The snail looks up at the guy and says, “What the hell was that all about?”

Three Orchids


Three Orchids

Three orchids.
One blooming
One resting
One dying without hope.
I care for the two
But the the third,
Leaves still green
But curling,
What am I to do?

Note: As mentioned earlier, orchids have floated into my usually non-green world. I have begun learning how to reward the gift they give. They are, as experts say, and as is obvious, unusual plants. They rest for a while and, with proper care, will wake up more beautiful than ever.

But not always. And not forever.