Thor Gives Birth to Twins
by Bob Schwartz
Nobody wants to hear from word nerds. They just stifle creativity and block linguistic evolution with their definitions and rules. Humpty Dumpty from Alice in Wonderland is the man (or eggman): words mean exactly what anybody says they mean.
Except they don’t, or they can’t or shouldn’t. If you tell a doctor you have a pain in your leg, and she examines and treats your arm, because leg now means arm, everybody has a problem.
Here’s the TMZ story that’s been widely picked up:
Chris Hemsworth and Elsa Pataky — Give Birth to Twins
Thor’s Got Twins Now!
3/20/2014 4:14 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF
EXCLUSIVE
Chris Hemsworth and his wife are at Cedars Sinai Medical Center right now giving birth to twins … TMZ has learned.
It’s ultra-high security in their hospital suite … we’re told 2 security guards are standing at the door. Chris is strolling the hallway and is being escorted with a guard.
Chris and his wife Elsa Pataky already have one baby — India Rose Hemsworth who is now 22 months old. She’s about to have a couple new siblings.
Chris and Elsa were married in 2010.
This led to headlines like this one in the New York Daily News:
Chris Hemsworth, wife Elsa Pataky giving birth to twins
Nobody may care, except for mothers, doctors, and Mrs. Chris Hemsworth, but “giving birth” is not the same as parents having a baby. “Birth” is variously defined as “The emergence and separation of offspring from the body of the mother” or “The event of being born, the entry of a new person out of its mother into the world.”
Chris Hemsworth can be a proud and involved daddy. So can Thor. But neither of them can give birth, no matter what TMZ or the Daily News say.
Bob Schwartz 
Ok word nerd, I’ll see your definition and ask you this: since babies don’t always just come plopping out on their own as we’d like them to, the effort of the mother pushing and squeezing said baby through a wee tiny opening-is that giving the birth?
Well…having thrown in a couple of definitions of “birth”, thinking that it should have included something about “giving” except that it’s a quick post and not a treatise, I’ve been caught. So, yeah, that would be a giving, but since there are other ways of separation and entry into the world, let’s just say that they are all gifts — for which the father is a maker, but only the mother is the giver.
You’re a great sport, and thanks for a good word nerd post. Looking forward to your other recent posts; I need to catch up on current events :)