White House | Bob Schwartz

May 27, 2026

Alternatives to the official America 250

UFC Octagon being built in front of the White House for America 250

Most Americans remain outraged and demoralized daily by the administration of the nation. If you are one who has grappled with these and other emotions, please do try to be of good mind and spirit.

One other response is that those Americans are simply exhausted. As the expression goes, what fresh hell will today bring? Pictures of the UFC Octagon being built in front of the White House fit that thought.

More is to come, especially as we draw closer to July 4, planned as a peak moment to celebrate the 250th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence. America 250 has already been and will become a distortion of the history and of the values it represents. Among other things, at that historic moment 250 years ago, enlightened and oppressed people believed they could do better than living under a tyrant who cared nothing about them and everything about power and enriching himself and his friends. Because that sounds so familiar today, too close to home, we won’t hear anything about it in the official America 250.

Which is why, late as it is (so many responses to Trump are late and ineffective), we need alternatives to the official America 250. For just one example, we are going to be asked to sing both The Star Spangled Banner (official national anthem) and Lee Greenwood’s God Bless the U.S.A. (unofficial national anthem). I can think of many other songs we should be singing together that tell the American story, and you can too. That’s just one example of an alternative possibility.

Think and talk about how 2026 can be turned into an accurate and positive celebration of America’s admittedly imperfect history—then do it. America began as a somewhat enlightened, somewhat self-serving attempt to throw off the chains of unenlightened rule. For the rest of this year, and for the rest of this administration, we will be facing powerful attempts to rewrite history. We have the power to correct that and to transcend the unenlightened. We have the power to pursue and create alternatives. Starting with America 250.

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May 19, 2026

The Moral and Legal Responsibilities of Bringing a Wild and Dangerous Animal Into Your (White) House (2016)

No one can force you to adopt a wild and dangerous animal as your pet. To bring it into your house. To make it your own. If you do go ahead, against all advice, know the responsibilities.

Some animals are so inherently dangerous that they are not even allowed to be adopted at all. In other cases, if the animal harms or looks like it might harm neighbors, or gets loose and does more widespread damage, you will be blamed. Here is a very rough statement of part of the general law on the subject:

The owner or keeper of a domestic animal has a duty to take reasonable steps to prevent injuries that are foreseeable because the animal belongs to a class of animals that is naturally inclined to cause such injuries, regardless of whether the animal had previously caused an injury or was roaming at large and, accordingly, the owner may be held liable for negligence if he or she fails to take such reasonable steps and an injury results.

Some will say, oh, but it’s so cute and exotic and interesting. It’s the talk of the town. It may seem relatively normal, even lovable, at times. It may even be featured on the local news.

But eventually, neighbors will say: stay away from that house. And will tell others to stay away from your house. And if it does the kind of serious damage you know it is capable of, how will you live with yourself?

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April 21, 2025

Proposed art work: The Gold House

Proposed art work: Cover the White House, home of the U.S. President, in gold paint. Rename it the Gold House.

Claude estimates the cost of this art work:

Paint Cost

According to the White House Historical Association, it takes 570 gallons of white paint to cover the exterior of just the residence portion of the White House (center), excluding the West and East Wings. Another source indicates it takes about 300 gallons of paint to cover the outside of the White House.

Typically, one gallon of paint covers between 250-400 square feet per coat. For metallic paint, coverage is approximately 320-400 square feet per gallon.

Since metallic paint often requires multiple coats for proper coverage: Two coats are recommended for opaque metallic colors for best results.

Premium metallic paint can cost significantly more than standard paint, with prices varying widely. High-quality metallic gold paint for exterior use might cost $75-150.

Total paint cost: $124,600

Labor Cost

Labor costs are approximately 82 cents per square foot. However, rates can range from $0.50 to $3 per square foot depending on complexity.

Labor cost per square foot: $2.50
Total labor cost: $498,750

Additional Costs

Scaffolding or lift equipment costs $500 to $1,500 per day. For a building like the White House, this would be a significant additional expense.

Surface preparation (cleaning, priming, etc.): $100,000
Equipment rental (scaffolding, lifts): $50,000
Primer and other materials: $75,000
Project management: $75,000

Time Estimate

On average, a commercial painter covers approximately 150-200 square feet per hour.

Total painting time for two coats for a team of 20 painters: 114 hours

Total project time, adding time for prep work, drying between coats, and final touches: 202 hours or 25 8-hour workdays.

Total Project Summary

To cover the White House exterior in gold paint:

Total gold paint needed: 1,246 gallons (two coats)
Total project cost: $923,350 (paint + labor + additional costs)
Time required: Approximately 1 month (accounting for weather delays and security protocols)

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February 27, 2017

The Beverly Hillbillies Go To Washington

clampetts-in-washington

I was thinking about a very rich family with more money than sense, and about their beautiful daughter and a son who thinks he is a lot smarter than he is. They eventually go to Washington.

The Clampetts of The Beverly Hillbillies.

In 1970, for the first three episodes of the hit show’s ninth and last season, the Clampetts (Jed, Granny, Elly May, Jethro) go to Washington, initially to solve the pollution problem.

It is a very long, complicated, politically incorrect and stupid story. At one point, Jed buys the White House from a fake Native American so that the Clampetts can move in. He later buys the Capitol. And that’s not even the stupidest part (taken to the Psych ward, Jethro tries to figure out where the countries of Paranoia and Schizophrenia are).

Following are descriptions of the episodes (from TV.com) and links to the videos. The descriptions are fun. As for watching the videos, you will not laugh once, you will occasionally cringe, but you may come away thinking that the Clampetts buying and moving into the White House is not the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever heard.

The Pollution Solution (9/15/70)

Drysdale is trying to get his money back, while Jed is trying to prevent him from doing so. And Jethro is trying to come up with a way to beat the smog problem. Drysdale sends Jane over to get the money, posing as a guard. When Jed doesn’t give it to him, Drysdale tells him what he’s got is a drop in the bucket, and only the President could really do anything. Jed returns the money and says he plans to give all his money to the President. To help out, Jethro comes up with the electric car, after inventing the smog-causing steam car, and says he can drive them to D.C. in it. Drysdale arranges a comic to pose as the President over the phone to keep them from giving their money away, telling him Jed thinks he is worth 95 million. Rich Little, posing as Nixon, tells them to do what the man in the white coat says. When a milkman at the mansion reads a note Granny left and tells Jethro the message says they’re going to Washington, the Clampetts get on a plane, and Drysdale is too late to stop them. They tell the stewardess about their plans when they meet Mr. President, which sound outrageous, and when Jed asks her how high they are flying, she tells them a lot higher than the plane.

The Clampetts in Washington (9/22/70)

The Clampetts head to Washington D.C. to give their money to the President, and Honest John and Flo follow. Honest John convinces the Clampetts that he knows the President and that they can give him money, which he will in return give to the President. Flo poses as Sitting Hawk, the last of the District Of Colombia Native Americans. She sells Jed the White House for one million. After that, the Clampetts go to the White House to move in, but are stopped by the guard. They use some of their new District Of Colombia words to the guard. He sends for a car to take the Clampetts away. They get in the car, expecting to go visit the President, when in reality they were taken away in a police car.

Jed Buys the Capitol (9/29/70)

The Clampetts are confused after being taken to a place called a Psych ward and being called “Paranoiacs and Schizophrenics.” They ask Honest John what it is about. He tells them it is a mistake and promises they can see the President, just as soon as some trouble is settled. He returns to Flo and tells her he is going to take the Clampetts for another two million. She wants to go to Guatemala, but he gets her to pose. They sell Jed the Capitol, and much more of the property. Meanwhile, Jethro is trying to figure out where the countries of Paranoia or Schizophrenia are. Jed and Granny return to say they’ve bought more land. Honest John sells them more and more property, and at the end, he has ten million in property sold. But Elly is looking for a kitten and walks in on Honest John and Flo. The Clampetts all see this and think he is still the salt of the earth for taking in a 150 year old Native American woman. He admits she is his wife, and they are crooks. They misunderstand and still praise him, and he tears up the checks worth ten million. The Clampetts think they have over-praised him yet again.

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