Bob Schwartz

Tag: bacon

Bacon and Ribs Illegal in America When Jews and Muslims Take Over

When Orthodox Jews or Muslims are in charge, bacon, ribs, and all sorts of other things will be made illegal.

Of course, that will never happen. Not because Orthodox Jews or Muslims will never take control of American democracy (anything’s possible). But because the U.S. Constitution—that imperfectly perfect protector of individual rights—would not permit it.

In the secular sphere, there is no higher law than the Constitution. Beyond being the law of the land, it is the law of the law of the land. Those who study it in the context of world history and politics recognize that it is a one-of-a-kind, no-other-time-or-place achievement.

Those who say there is some kind of higher law than that in the civic arena are misinformed, or in some cases, such as Ted Cruz who should know better, strategically mistaken. The question those folks have to answer is this: If there is higher law than the Constitution, whose law is it? If it’s “God’s” law, recall that God talks to lots of people in lots of religious traditions, and apparently isn’t always heard to say the same thing to everyone. It will shock some Christians to learn that God has been speaking to Jews for thousands more years, and while there seemed to have been plenty of talk about a messiah, nothing to indicate that one actually arrived. Or asked county clerks in Kentucky to stop issuing marriage licenses. Or told presidential candidates who claim to believe in law and order to defy the law of the law of the land. In his name. Amen.

A Food Breakthrough on National Donut Day

Glazed Donut Breakfast Sandwich

Updated to include Donut Burger.

Today is National Donut Day. Celebrated on the first Friday in June, it was begun in 1938 to celebrate the Salvation Army’s distribution of donuts to soldiers in World War I.

Donuts, particularly glazed donuts, are quite possibly the world’s most perfect food—provided you are not concerned about health. (Bananas, which use that “perfect food” slogan, are also great, and are much healthier, but bananas are obviously not quite donuts.)

There are plenty of special deals on National Donut Day, including free donuts with or without a purchase. But something has happened to make this NDD even more special.

Today Dunkin’ Donuts rolls out its Glazed Donut Breakfast Sandwich:

Going Where No Breakfast Has Gone

We’ve gone and changed breakfast forever. Again. Bite into this smorgasbord of bacon slices and pepper fried egg, sandwiched by a Glazed Donut.

Let’s talk about bacon. Bacon is quite possibly both the world’s most perfect (taste) food and least perfect (health) food. The stunning brilliance of combining bacon with a glazed donut can’t be overstated. A Nobel Food Prize can’t be far behind.

On the practical side, you have a choice. You can eat glazed donuts or Glazed Donut Breakfast Sandwiches once a year on National Donut Day. Or you can eat them every day. Or something in between.

Aristotle advised moderation in all things. With all the temptations he did face in ancient Greece, he still never had to withstand the allure of a Dunkin’ Donuts Glazed Donut Breakfast Sandwich. So as Aristotle would suggest on National Donut Day: go on, live a little.

Update:

Donut Burger

Many thanks to the reader who clued me in to Donut Burgers. Not only am I not eating enough donuts, I am also not keeping up with donut cuisine. As with all cutting-edge dishes, the origins of the donut burger are controversial. It is generally attributed to singer and producer Luther Vandross, who ran short of hamburger buns and substituted Krispy Kreme donuts, to create what is sometimes called the Luther Burger. It is now a staple of state fairs and other places where eating unusual things is essential to the experience. In all honesty, though, I’m not sure I get it, or want to get it. On the other hand, they say don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.