Bob Schwartz

May 1, 2025

President wants Britain to pay for U.S. defending Europe against Hitler. How about those Crown Jewels?

British Prime Minister: Mr. President, as you know, Europe is in dire shape. It may be a matter of days before Britain is defeated by Hitler. We need your help.

U.S. President: Sure. How much are you willing to pay?

PM: Mr. President?

President: We can’t just give you things without getting something back. So let’s make a deal. The treasures in Europe mostly aren’t available right now. But you still have your own British treasures. Your Crown Jewels are worth a few billion dollars. Let us have those now and we will give you all the defense you need. And when we win, I know that France and Italy also have treasures. We can negotiate for those. A lot of gold there. That Vatican has plenty.

PM: Mr. President?

President: Let me know how it’s going in the war. If you want to make a deal, you know where to find me.

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May 1, 2025

Moses and the three coyotes

Who are you and what are you doing here, the three coyotes asked.

They call me Moses, because as an infant I was set afloat and was picked out of the water by a princess, and then…it’s a long story. I wandered in a desert for a long time and I got used to it. So I’m trying out other deserts.

This is the Sonoran Desert, the three coyotes said. What are you carrying? It looks like a stick and a stone.

The stick is a magic staff. It can turn into a snake. The stone is a bunch of sayings. Do you want to hear them?

No we don’t, the three coyotes said. We don’t need a stick that turns into a snake. We’ve got plenty of snakes of our own.

Well, I guess I’ll be moving on, Moses said. I’m sure I’ll see you again.

Not if we see you first, the three coyotes said.

© 2025 by Bob Schwartz

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