Bob Schwartz

Baseball and the Arizona Diamondbacks: The Curse of the Audit

Curses are a part of Major League Baseball. Take the Curse of the Bambino. The Boston Red Sox had been a successful team, winning the 1918 World Series with Babe Ruth on their roster. They sold Ruth to the Yankees, and did not win another championship until 2004. Eighty-six years.

The Arizona Diamondbacks have been a somewhat successful team before. In the last full season in 2019, they finished 85-77 (.525), second in the National League West.

In this 2021 season, having played 70 games so far, they are 20-50 (.286), losing their last 14. That puts them in the company of the worst winning percentages in MLB history. At this pace, for the full season they will win just 46 games out of 162.

There are so many reasons that MLB teams play so poorly, too many to list. In this case, though, it is pretty obvious that the reason is the clownish election audit—sometimes called a “fraudit”—being conducted in the D-Back hometown of Phoenix. It has been going on for weeks, as has the D-Back season. The dismal results have been the same.

When will the Curse of the Audit come to an end? We don’t even know when the audit will end, though we hope soon. If I was the D-Backs, I’d send a delegation to the Arizona Senate Republicans and to the Crazy Ninjas running the circus and beg them to stop. Maybe then, the D-Backs can start winning again.

Ridiculously hot temperatures are compelling

We live in a desert city that has very hot summers. And pretty hot springs and falls too. It’s a desert.

Right now, it has been extra hot for days, even for here. Days higher than 110, nights barely dipping into the 80s. That’s hot.

The advice is simple. Stay out of the heat if you can. And hydrate because, well, you know, it’s a dry heat.

It is wise not to spend too much time outside. But I admit that when I do venture into the midday sun, I get a little bit of a charge. I am not stupid and I would not expose myself for any extended time. But the feeling of that supernatural heat is an experience. It is beyond meaning and analysis. It just is, very present, very forceful. I am not nearly so enlightened as to transcend the desire for comfort. That’s why there is blessedly air conditioning in the house.

And yet, dipping into that heat is as bracing as dipping into the ocean. Like the ocean, it has its own rules and its own ways, and invites you to share…if you can, if you are willing. I am willing, for a few minutes, to be surrounded by air that feels—not objectionably—like the inside of an oven. Smartly, I stay just a few minutes. Then back inside.