Bob Schwartz

Joke Break: Duck Walks into a Drugstore…

Duck Drug Store
We need a break. So here’s one in a continuing series of jokes from the joke file, a well-traveled manila folder containing about three pounds of clippings and copies from all kinds of sources.

This doesn’t mean that there aren’t stupid, tragic and completely unnecessary things going on in this country and the world. That’s exactly what’s going on—but we still have to live. And laugh.

Great jokes don’t have to offend sensibilities, but they sometimes do. So a blanket apology in advance if you are put off or offended—or if you don’t find a particular joke very funny.


Duck walks into a drugstore, asks for some Chap Stick. Guy behind the counter says, “That’ll be fifty-nine cents.” Duck says, “Put it on my bill.”

Next day, the duck walks into the drugstore, asks for a package of condoms. Guy behind the counter says, “Would you like me to put that on your bill?” Duck says, “Hey, what kind of a duck do you think I am!”

Another Fleetwood Mac Presidency?

Fleetwood Mac - Rumours
That’s not Bill and Hillary Clinton on the cover of the Rumours album.

Pandora popped this album up and three things came to mind. The music is still pretty good, as well-crafted as any pop of its day, but it does sound  a bit dated. The second thought is about this now-iconic photo of Mick Fleetwood and Stevie Nicks. What in the name of artsy pretentiousness is going on, and why does Mick have two balls hanging near his crotch?

The final thought was of the Clintons. If you were there, you will never, ever get the identity between Bill and the campaign theme song Don’t Stop out of your head, hard as you try.

Hillary’s presidential candidacy is a big topic that has to be dealt with in bite-size chunks. Among the sub-topics is whether she will run, whether she will win the nomination, whether she will win the presidency, and whether any of it is a good idea for the party or the country. All that is stuff for another day.

The subject here is what it means in terms of Fleetwood Mac. Does Hillary still like and listen to them, or did she never, instead just giving in to another of Bill’s peccadilloes? Did she think of herself more as a Stevie Nicks or as a Christine McVie? Did she think more of Stevie or Christine? Did Bill think more about Stevie or Christine?

(As a bonus, consider that the songs on Rumours are famously confessional about broken relationships and secret infidelities among band members. That’s why it’s called Rumours. Ironic, yes?)

The big question is whether a Hillary candidacy is a hark back to Mac, essentially a call for the better days of the mid-1970s or early-1990s, the decades that frame the Clinton Years. If it is, the question then is what kind of place, if any, there is for Fleetwood Mac in 2016. It’ll soon be here.